Today marks the 80th anniversary of my mother’s birth. However, she is not here to celebrate having passed in 2012. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t think of her more than I care to admit. Many who know me understand that we had a difficult relationship. I think it is more common between mothers and daughters than many care to admit. My sister and I often joked that we absolutely hated Mother’s Day because Sandra Stidham did not fit any “traditional” card you might pick up in a store. Nothing ever seemed suitable for a woman who could not be defined by a canned verse. I remember spending so much of my life angry that she was NOT the mother I thought I deserved. I honestly believed God had played such a dirty trick on my sisters and me giving us an asshole for a father and a cold woman for a mother. I believed we hit snake eyes on the parent front if I’m being honest. But, what the hell did I know.
In 2016, I will turn 60 years old and believe it or not, I have learned a great deal in those many years. Funny thing is much of what I learned I have to lay at the feet of that cold-hearted woman I’m remembering today. I’ve come to understand that in her own way she was quite the teacher. She taught me that in spite of great odds, you can do anything… you can rise above the most difficult of situations and people in your life. She taught me that you can never look down on anyone else because you never know their story…you don’t know until you walk in their shoes she used to say. She taught me that someone always has less than you do and that it is so easy to share. And, as I was reminded today, she taught me that I was never lost, I just didn’t know where I was from time to time. Well Mom, I am lost without you… but, thanks to you, I’ll find my way…TOMORROW.
As for today, I’ll just say thank you and I’m sorry I wasn’t the daughter you deserved. I pray you had a magnificent birthday. Until we talk again… all my love!