I Get It!

It’s here again; your birthday. I have absolutely no clue where the time has gone since you were physically present in our lives. Six years seems like an eternity since I heard your voice. Can you believe I actually miss hearing it? I wonder if turning 82 would have quieted you at all. Would you have learned to temper your criticism or would you have maintained your “I don’t give a damn” attitude?

I’m now thinking that attitude came with age. As time passes, I remember a period when you were not so critical. I am reminded of a stage of your life when you were not so certain about the way things should be. And, there was a season when you were unsure of what was coming next or how were things going to end. But, time and circumstances changed your voice.

As I age, I am beginning to understand. I realize that time is no longer on my side. The writing is on the wall and there are fewer and fewer minutes to share a lifetime of experiences, successes and failures with people you love…people you will leave behind. It’s made harder when they are not listening so you raise your voice and insist that you know the answer. I get it! I only wish I had understood it before you left.

Anyway, that’s my birthday gift to you. I understand Mom and I’m sorry I didn’t get it until now. Wherever the next life has taken you, I wish you good health, joy and peace. I love you and I miss you.

Happy Birthday!

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2 Responses to I Get It!

  1. Krissy says:

    Oh Jamie!! I totally relate and wish I could not only tell my Mom the exact same thing but get my children to understand the time will come when they feel the same we do. Your note is beautiful and I’m sure your Mom really appreciates knowing you finally get it.

  2. Letti scheidler says:

    I read what you wrote two times and I can totally relate to what you are saying . . . but maybe as we age, we’re all the same with our thoughts and actions. Is that okay or should be try to make changes? It would be nice to talk with ones that have long passed, as we age, because our thoughts and views are always changing. I guess time and experience will always change our perspective.

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