Alone Time!

I don’t know if it is my age, but I am finding that I enjoy being alone. That way, you do not get your feelings hurt. I find that happening more and more these days and I’m not sure what to do. I never say anything, I just internalize the pain, continue to put on the mask I have worn since childhood and move on. Whether it is children, co-workers or friends, I just keep moving.

When your children hurt you, there is really very little you can do. They are the family you love more than your own life. You would do anything for them so you let them hurt you without ever saying a word knowing that someday their own children will inflict the same pain.

Being unhappy when co-workers hurt you is a little more difficult road to traverse. After all, your paycheck can depend on smoothing out the rough road from time to time. There are moments when I regret making a career change. Sometimes, I feel cornered, boxed in, even trapped. I am pretty sure we would have moved on by now if I had not made this move. Only time will tell if we continue to travel this route.

Friends! I remember telling one of my children that you really only have one or two good friends in your life. The rest will come and go – call them acquaintances. I am beginning to see most of the people in my life in the latter category these days. More and more I have come to believe that I am a better friend to people than they are to me. I am the one who shows up. I am the one who calls. I am the one who remembers. The same cannot be said about them. So, the question becomes, are they really friends? Or, are they just acquaintances that will be moving on soon?

In any case, being alone is really not so bad. It gives me time to reflect and respond to the blessings and grace given by the one true constant in my life…my Abba!

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